Meeting Jesus at Stein Mart

Yesterday I wore the shoes of the disciple Peter. Not the Peter who courageously stepped onto liquid walkways by solid faith (I wonder if he did have on shoes then?). I was the disciple who never thought I would deny Him and yet was truly shocked to the core when I actually did.

Somehow we as humans have this uncanny ability to separate what we say we believe from practical reality (Google hypocrisy). Satan deceives us by making us believe that the thousands of split-second decisions we make throughout the day are up to us. I realize now that Jesus often knocks on the door of our hearts through the people He places in front of us.

My mom and I had a delightful morning shopping the sales at Stein Mart (P.S. The sale lasts through Sunday, May 14). While thumbing through the racks, a young woman approached me and said she had a question to ask me (my mind was prepared to offer a quick thumbs up or thumbs down on an outfit contender). To my surprise, she said that she was parked outside and needed money for gas. She said, “I am not a crazy person or anything, I just need gas money.”

You know that moment when your mind has the capacity to hold three different coherent thoughts all at the same time? These were mine:

1) This sounds like a classic textbook scam.

2) But she seems like she really is a nice person.

3) I do not have any cash on me.

Needless to say, I would not be featured on an episode of The Kindness Diaries. Although I did not have any cash on me, obviously I had my credit card with me, as my cart was filled with “fabulous finds.” Just in case thought #1 was true, I still had a few walls up. I felt like I had nothing to offer her, and yet still wanted to offer her something. She did appear genuine.

I told her my name, reached over and hugged her as I quietly offered, “God bless you.” I asked her if she would be around the store, she said she would…I continued to shop but could not shake her from my mind or heart.

As I was in check-out line, she found me and came over and said, “Thank you for being nice to me…something will work out.” All I could think to do in that moment was to hug her and speak blessings over her again. She walked out to the parking lot.

I am naturally a very reflective person, so I started to ponder the multi-faceted nature of the situation. I felt the question arise in me, “What if she really is a scammer…would you withhold your blessing or be kind anyway?”

My thoughts reached deep inside my heart and dug up the last eight words of Luke 6:35, “...He is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.”

With new resolve, I discussed the situation with my mom. She had a little cash on her so we decided to give her some money anyway if we could find her…not much…a $5 bill….we prayed that Jesus would help us locate her if that is what we were meant to do. We asked Jesus to speak to us and give us clarity. We weaved through the parking lot, but could not find her.

Sprouts was just across the road and we both thought we spotted her walk in…my mom stayed in the parking lot and I darted in with a folded $5 bill tucked in my purse. I was on a mission. My mom waved her arms frantically for me to come back. “The lady that walked into Sprouts had a dress on,” she noted, “I think I remember the lady in Stein Mart had shorts on. Go in anyway just in case…”

As I headed back into Sprouts, I look over my shoulder and my mom was close behind…She piped up, “What if this lady is part of a scam circle or something worse…what am I doing sending my daughter in alone?” (My mom loves me…LOL!)

As I walked in, I saw the lady up closer and confirmed that it was definitely not her. This lady had curly hair, and the woman in Stein Mart had longer straight hair.

Droopy-shouldered, I left with regret. Condemnation began to creep into the corners of my heart. I should have done something when I had the chance…I felt like, what good was I? She had a material need and I did not meet it…more verses popped into my mind, but this time they were rooted in accusation…

James 2:16, “If one of you says to them, "Go in peace; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it?”

Matthew 25:42, “For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink,”

I felt like I had somehow failed a supernatural test. And then, I was instantly reminded of how Jesus still loved me anyway.

When I boast three times that I will never deny him….He still loves me anyway.

When the cock crows through the clouds of confusion…He still loves me anyway.

When the Light of the Omniscient shines through my dark deficiencies…He still loves me anyway.

Jesus somehow still trusted Peter and me and broken members of His body across the globe with the keys to His kingdom and He still loves us anyway.

As the day was wrapping up, my mom mentioned that she was cleaning and found a poem that Marnie (my sister) wrote back in college. I asked to read it. As she was about to hand it to me, she gasped as the significance of the title grabbed her heart, “It is called I’m Hungry.”

Marnie wrote the poem as a part of a classroom assignment back in 1996. It was a narrative poem that described a real-life encounter she and a group of friends had with a disheveled man in faded blue jeans. All he said was, “I’m hungry.” It was a parallel account of exactly what happened to us just hours earlier. Same story just different characters. She expressed the swirl of emotions and thoughts that tangle through your innermost being when a stranger approaches you out of the blue. She fed him anyway. She was convinced that compassion must always weigh more than fear.

This was the theme. This was the message. This was the answer that arrived in the form of a poem after my mom and I joined hands to pray for clarity that day.

To be a carrier of the Gospel we must never forget the truth that we are all hungry. To truly see God, we must have a pure heart and see people through His eyes. Jesus saw Israel when he was still Jacob. Jacob, perhaps the biggest scam artist of history, whose name means supplanter or deceiver. Jacob stole the blessing, but the blessing could not be revoked.

When we extend our forearms to our Heavenly Father, we are painfully aware of the guilt, the shame, and the trickery. We see the skins of deception still attached to us when we hold out our arms, yet crave the blessing anyway. We forget that we are blessed because the sacrifice of Jesus covers us and it is more than enough. When Jesus stands between us and the Father, He blesses us not because of us but because the sacrifice of His Son is attached to us.

Power cannot flow through a diluted Gospel. The power must flow through the unpolluted purity of grace. Grace with no strings attached. Grace without the shadowy face of a Pharisee creeping into our thought life. Goodness not deserved. It is what saved us and it is what saves others.

Romans 2:4, “Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, forbearance and patience, not realizing that God's kindness is intended to lead you to repentance?”